ðe reol þyng

[tellitslant]

This is easily one of the best things I've read in a long time.

Cvltvre Made Stvpid
Tom Weller

Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle, monstær lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce, hie luccen for fyht.
Ðen Hreorfneorhtðhwr, son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,
Æsccen æwful jeork to steop outsyd.
Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom! Ðe bigge gye
Eallum his bon brak, byt his nose offe;
Wicced Godsylla wæld on his asse.
Monstær moppe fleor wyþ eallum men in hælle.
Beowulf in bacceroome fonecall bamaccen wæs;
Hearen sond of ruccus sæd, "Hwæt ðe helle?"
Graben sheold strang ond swich-blæd scharp
Stond feorth to fyht ðe grimlic foe.
"Me," Godsylla sæd, "mac ðe minsemete."
Heoro cwyc geten heold wiþ fæmed half-nelson
Ond flyng him lic frisbe bac to fen
Beowulf belly up to meaddehæle bar,
Sæd, "Ne foe beaten mie færsom cung-fu."
Eorderen cocca-cohla yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng.

Comments

[1istener.livejournal.com]

Gah, there are bits and pieces I can't get. Some time I'll have to look up the pronunciations of some of those letters.

Does the title imply something about text speak? When was this written?

I may have to make a Coke icon now. ;)

[sakura-yuy.livejournal.com]

oh my gawd, is Beowulf fighting godzilla, and did he jus say "no foe can beat my fearsome kung fu"?? XD

I could understand most of it, some things I guessed at. But this is pretty funny, this Weller guy has a lot of time on his hands.

[violettandblue.livejournal.com]

OMG, LOVE it!!! ;o)

Did I ever mention I took a course in Old English Lit? We read tons of things and had to do translations and speak aloud in class...my professor was a complete loon and it was fun as hell...we were always cracking up over the pronunciations and how similar things were to modern English.

Hehe.