[you're my only hope]

When I was young, I spent long weekends at my dad's, and it was a real treat because we had three nights to watch films together. We'd always watch one of two trilogies, one film each night: either Indiana Jones or Star Wars.

I loved the movies as a kid, and then in late elementary school and early junior high years I read the books voraciously. I remember doing a book report in grade seven on The Courtship of Princess Leia, an exercise that involved making a poster with a very large pop-up Leia head. *g* And Carrie Fisher was such a hero of mine; I absolutely fell in love when I read Postcards from the Edge.

I never really thought of myself as a sci-fi fan, and weirdly I don't think I ever engaged in Star Wars fannishness online. And late in grade seven, early in grade eight, I fell into a friend group that got really excited about that other Star show - Star Trek - and kind of drifted away, into a more social fandom practice, and then into online fandom. I kind of forgot about Star Wars - I can't remember the last time I watched the films.

Dad and I went to see the first prequel in the cinema, but I was so unimpressed, I never bothered to see the other two. But then earlier this year, when I went to Emerald City Comic Con in Seattle, I went to a talk by the actor who played C-3PO, and when they started playing the theme music I actually teared up, which I hadn't expected at all! And now, the new film comes out this week. I haven't deliberately been getting fannish about it, but the more I hear the more excited I get, and I finally gave in and bought a ticket to see it Friday. It's a strange and interesting kind of fannishness: a little detached, a little nostalgic, a little lonely.

I just hope the film is good.